♥ Jenna’s Blog: Just @bout Anything ♥

After sometimes I’m with this guy, it seems like my heart getting this insecure feeling. I’m not sure if it is normal for me to feel this way or maybe cause of distance? I can suddenly feel insecure about our relationship and our future together. I could see myself love him quite deep where until sometimes I have the kind of feeling where I don’t want to ever lose him in my life. There are times that I really scare and don’t know what will happens to me if someday I really losing him. Me, myself, I’m not sure if I could handle that if it happen as I know that sometimes it is very easy for us to fall in love but it is thousand hundred times harder to recover from heart broken and to forget the pain.

Well, maybe one of the reasons I felt this insecure love is maybe because of the keep on changing emotions that he have (who born under the star sign of Cancer usually have this behavior… including me.. but just that not that serious like him maybe.. Hehe..). It can happen to seems so unpredictable and there are times that I didn’t know what is in his mind. A feeling where you may felt so hard to deal with when you don’t even have a single clue or know what is your partner’s thinking. I’ve always wished to be the best for him and to be able to stepped and understand his world and to share everything with him rather than to left him alone and lost in his own world.

I know love is sometimes quite complicated. I can say that I’m a very sensitive type of person and I can easily get hurt by a single word that he said. This also applied to those who closed to me; I have always very care for them and do mind on everything they said to me or about me. I admit that I’m very weak on this part and am very soft at heart.

There are times I can see him very clearly that he loved me much such like the way he didn’t mind what others perspective about us and not afraid of showing off that he loves me to everyone and including all of his friends. Unfortunately, now he makes me feels that he is not love me that deeply. I could understand everyone have their own thinking perspectives and have their own point of views on things but for me, I’m not afraid to let everyone know about us.

Even until today, my parent still didn’t know about us but I’m not afraid if they found out. I’m that kind of person where once I love that guy, I’m no longer afraid of other things and willing to give. So do I understand and I know that I can simply be the doormat if I’m stepping into unfruitful love life. But still I didn’t afraid to take the risk of love. I’m willing to have pain and love in my life rather than not being loved at all. Life without love is meaningless and emptiness. What’s your opinion?